Getting Your Pink Back: A Different Way to Think About Motherhood & Wellbeing

Have you ever heard that flamingos can lose their pink?

It turns out their beautiful pink colour comes from their diet, which is rich in carotenoids found in algae and crustaceans. And when flamingo parents are raising their chicks, something incredible happens: both mothers and fathers produce a nutrient-rich “crop milk” to feed their babies.

That milk is full of the very pigments that give flamingos their vibrant colour.

So, while they are pouring nourishment into their young, those precious pigments are being diverted away from their own feathers. Their beautiful pink gradually fades, and they can become pale, white or light grey.

And I absolutely love this as a metaphor for motherhood.

Because how often, especially in those early postpartum months and years, do we feel as though we’ve lost our colour?

We give so much of ourselves.

Our time.
Our bodies.
Our sleep.
Our patience.
Our attention.
Our energy.
Our love.

We pour and pour and pour into our babies.

And sometimes, when we finally look up, we barely recognise ourselves.

We might find ourselves thinking:

“I just want to feel like me again.”

“I want my old life back.”

“I want to get back to who I was before.”

And I wonder if there’s another way to look at it.

What if you don't need to get back to your old self?

There can be so much pressure on mothers to “bounce back” and return to old routines, old habits, old hobbies, old levels of productivity and even an old version of our identity.

As though feeling like ourselves again means recreating the woman we were before we became mothers.

But motherhood changes us.

Of course it does.

And perhaps the goal isn't to squeeze our old life back into our new one.

Perhaps the goal is to create a new way of living that supports the woman we are now.

Maybe you don't need your old morning routine.

Maybe you need ten quiet minutes with a cup of tea before the day begins.

Maybe you don't need to get back to the exact exercise routine you had before motherhood.

Maybe you need movement that feels good in this body, at this stage, with the energy you actually have.

Maybe you don't need to become more productive.

Maybe you need more rest.

Maybe you don't need to “find yourself” at all.

Maybe you need the space, time and support to meet yourself again.

Getting Your Pink Back

The flamingo's fading isn't a sign that something is wrong. It's simply the result of giving so much of itself to its young.

And motherhood is the same.

If you've been feeling less like yourself, maybe you don't need to get back to who you were before.

Maybe you need to give yourself some of the care, time and attention you've been so generously giving everyone else.

Not to become your old self again, but to make space for the woman you're becoming.

What if getting your pink back requires giving yourself more nourishment in a way that fits who you are right now?